Suppose you are lolling about in the post Christmas blur that is the days before everything gets back to ‘normal’. You are considering taking down the tree, eating the last of the chocolates, reflecting on the parties and the presents, thinking about times gone by and looking forward to the New Year. Minor squabbles, because everyone has been at home together, the change from routine, all conspire to make the start of the year that little bit more irritating than usual. That was my family last week.
In all the time we spend together, how often do we actually appreciate what we have? How often do we take the mundane, the trivial and the downright ordinariness of life for granted. I do, all the time. I have a great life. It is true that with a bit more money and a bit less stress, with a nicer climate and another car, it could be improved, but all in all it is wonderful. And I have taken it for granted.
Last weekend my gorgeous and wonderful husband discovered that he has a health issue. Now luckily for our family it is treatable and not going to be the end of him, but, and it is a big but, without good luck it could have been much worse.
Without going into details, because this is not about the health problem or about how good the NHS are (amazing, if you are interested) it is about the feeling you have when someone you love goes into a room with a doctor and no one is smiling. This has not happened to me in over 30 years, and then it was my dear parents, and both of them lost their battle with illness, way too young. The feeling is one of fear and of anger. I found myself wanting to shout at the very stressed and overworked staff who were trying so hard to take care of everyone, I wanted to say, ‘look here, its my husband, he is ill, notice him, now’ and as ever with me when I am scared I seem angry. It is the lack of power and control, the fear of what might be, the unknown. How in one second your world can alter forever. Mine did. Hubby is home and recovering, but I have changed. He has always been my rock, the one who looked after me, who cared for us all, handsome, kind, loving and invincible. Except now I know he isn’t invincible. He is however still handsome and kind which is a bonus.
So I have learned that all the blogs in the world do not matter, whether the decorations stay up or come down doesn’t matter, one car, little cash, cold weather, it doesn’t matter. What matters is life, and living it to the full, every day in every way. Grab happiness in every moment, pay attention to family and friends, and embrace the world as it is, do not waste time waiting for something wonderful to happen because something wonderful happens every day, I just didn’t notice it before.
So so true and so beautifully expressed. Best wishes to both of you as he recovers x
Reblogged this on abusyperson and commented:
I think we are all guilty of this. Of focusing on what is wrong with our lives rather than what is right or at best taking what is right for granted. We need to notice what we have in case it is suddenly taken away. A sobering thought.
thank you for reblogging Sue, I am so glad you liked the piece. He is feeling much better, back to hospital this morning so we will know more later.
You’ve articulated well a life perspective that is vital to happiness.
I think most people don’t appreciate what they have, until something comes along to shake up their priorities, it is part of our make-up to see the bad stuff much more than the good. All the rubbish falls away and what is important is left behind. (I too have a husband who was very ill – now recovered). In our case and in the words of the John Green book Fault in our Stars – cancer perks.
Our whole family have gone on to seize life to the full since diagnosis in a way we didn’t before.
For those struggling to appreciate what they have, I love the idea of encouraging them to share 3 good things that have happened each day, and another idea is The Happiness Project http://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Project-Morning-Aristotle-Generally/dp/006158326X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389185177&sr=1-1&keywords=the+happiness+project
thanks for your comments Sonia, I hope your husband is doing well. I am a great believer in choosing to be happy, not always easy to do, but it really does work to raise the spirit. 3 good things happened yesterday – I had some lovely comments on my blog, our evening meal was really nice and my hubby has less pain, the meds are working!
It is so scary when you are left helpless and in someone else’s hands when someone that you love isn’t well. It’s in our nature to try to fix things, to take them all in our stride and to stay positive in the face of sudden disasters, but sometimes the speed, the shock and the nature of the disasters takes away any ability you might have had to do that. It’s then that we realise how vulnerable we actually are, and does indeed bring home the message that we need to make time to appreciate our loved ones whilst we can. Sending lots of good wishes for a speedy recovery – and to you too, for coping xx
thanks for the lovely comment, he is doing well and I am too!