today has been a good day. My hubby has his job in our lovely place, the job that was put on hold while he saw the doctors, now it is all confirmed and a start date in place. The decision is done.
No more shall we, shan’t we?, no more what if or maybe?. It is done, we are leaving our home town for pastures new, and it feels ok. The rock of indecision has left my shoulders, I am able to move forwards.
This past six weeks has been a roller coaster of emotion, at times I felt I was at the bottom of a very dark pit, suffocating and unable to see the light. It was then that a beam shone from so many friends and family, a brightness in the darkness enabling me to look up and not down.
A few really helpful things were said to me. One person talked of the Worldly Wind, of how sometimes we are caught up unexpectedly in a hurricane, a tornado, when everything is upside down and nothing looks right. They said that at these times we have to allow ourselves to be carried on the wind, fighting is futile and leads to chaos. Lying back on the current, waiting for the drop is difficult, the spirit wants to fight, to restore order, and yet time must pass. All winds eventually change direction, all tornadoes burn out to a breeze. It is then, my friend says, in the calm after the storm, that you can stand up straight, dust yourself down and work out what this new land has to offer you.
So, today, we are in our Welsh paradise, we have begun the process of dusting ourselves down and looking around us with new eyes. A new job will bring new people to meet, new experiences and the chance to learn new skills. For this Hubby is excited. I am already working out how to balance the old and the new, a plan is forming, and I am beginning to believe that all will be well.
This is a new adventure, a chance to live a different sort of a life, where our priorities will shift and in time things will settle down. I have had these adventures before. I once moved to a town where I knew no one, on my own, with a partner absent working in London town, my four children and I quietly got on with the business of living. I did it then and I can do it now. Only this time I shall keep the links to our home town, to those we love, the ladder of our shared experiences will reach between the old and the new.
As we head home tonight to begin the process of packing and sorting, I am grateful. Grateful for the love of friends and family, grateful for having options and for being able to make choices. There is much to do, but I know now I can do it, the next stage has begun, the winds have dropped it is time to settle.