on feeling like a holiday and remembering it isn’t

Bank holiday weekend is almost done.  Unusually the sun has shone, the sky blue and it still feels like summer.  We have been busy.  More unpacking, some sorting and we are almost there.  Just one box and a million DVD’s to find homes for and it is finished.

We have pottered pleasantly around.  Gin o’clock on the decking with neighbours yesterday put us in holiday mode, and this afternoon we are just back from a walk along one of our very favourite beaches.  Watching the waves and soaking up the sun, this is what holidays are made for.

It was a very strange feeling to realise, as we did, on the shore this afternoon, that we are not on a lovely break.  That we are actually returning home to our place, and it was quite exciting.

You see, with all the turmoil and emotion of recent weeks, I had forgotten the feeling of walking along the beach with the sun on my back.  I had forgotten how much we love pottering in our garden and how sunny it is here.  I had lost my way.  This afternoon I remembered.

So, tomorrow is Tuesday, and we are off to the hospital, where someone will tell us exactly what is in store for my lovely hubby.  We shall find out if indeed he is broken hearted, and if so how they can fix him.  It is worrying, but at the same time it is just another hurdle and we are getting good at hurdles.

Later this week will be our wedding anniversary, and it is a good time to count my blessings.  I am ever grateful to that get together in London town, almost ten years ago, for it was there we found each other.  It is true to say we have faced many storms since then, but as I type I am watching him cutting the grass in our garden in the evening sunshine, and feeling very grateful for now.  There were times in my life when I could never have imagined this sort of contentment, and yes, despite the trauma, contentment is close to how I am feeling just now.

You  see it really is true that we cannot control what happens to us, but we are in control of what we do about things. Tonight, on a Bank Holiday Monday, I think we are finally doing ok.

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